I´be been hypnotized. Or at least I think I´ve been hypnotized. I´m not sure actually. And that feels kind of strange, not knowing. I think I was, but at the same time, I really don´t know. It´s all kind of a blur to me. Go figure(!) Hypnotherapist, Helle D. Broughton, certified by Norsk Forbund for klinisk hypnose og National Guild of Hypnotists, is someone ought to be taken seriously, but for some odd reason, I found that hard to do. And I don´t really know why I feel that way either, because I really believed in both her, and her skills to hypnotize me- before I tried. See (...) we spoke on the phone about a week before I was to see her for the first time. We scheduled our first appointment, and laid down the rules for what I was to be hypnotized for. Quitting smoking and then, maybe, if it all worked out, she could also help me with my fright of flying. That was the plan. But it didn´t quite work out that way. Not at all.
According to Harvard psychologist Deirdre Barrett, a hypnotic trance is not therapeutic in and of itself, but specific suggestions and images fed to clients in a trance, can profoundly alter their behavior. Cliants can, according to Barrett, as they rehearse the new ways they want to think and feel, lay the groundwork for changes in their future actions.
When I first met Helle I didn´t quite know what to make of it. I honestly didn´t have any expectations before meeting her, because what was I to expect, never having done anything like this before. Nevertheless, I think I was kind off disappointed. I had hoped that she would work her magic on me, talking me into that magical sleep or whatever, but there was no time at visit number one. The second visit though, was different. I had allready told her at this point that I had managed to quit smoking all by my lonesome(!) And I don´t know what made me feel like this, but from entering her room that day, I felt like something was just off. You know, when you feel like something is wrong. And it wasn´t her. Something else. Just a bad vibe or whatever (...) I dont know. I laid down, and she started talking to me, told me to close my eyes, and guided me into something that I think was supposed to be experienced as a calm, soothing an great state of mind. Instead, all I felt was panic. I felt like I was loosing myself, and it kind of made me feel like I was passing out due to sickness rather than the smooth, lovely state of mind everyone keeps talking about. I started crying for no obvious reason, and I couldn´t stop either. I just felt lost, and I had this urge to go pee. So did, and while walking- my legs just felt different and weird, like I wasn´t fully awake or semething. When I got back after doing my business, I told Helle that I felt strange, and she said that that would problably be due to the fact she hadn´t woken me yet. SPOOKY. I don´t even know if I believe that. That I wasn´t fully awake at the moment, but she counted backwards from five, kind of did something with her arms, and probably because a part of me wanted to believe it so that I could feel better again, I did. Feel better. I just kept shaking though. And maybe this whole hypnotize me thing works for people, but for me- I don´t ever want to do that again. Put myself in a situation where I make myself and my thoughts so vulnerable. I really don´t know what was going on in my mind the day I decided that this would be a good idea. Stranger things have happened, but for me, this whole experience has been pretty darn strange. At least I can say that I tried though! I now know what the fuzz is all about.
I think what I wanted to get out of being hypnotized in the first place was to alter my perception of smoking and flying. And I kind of did. Before I even met with the hypnotist for the first time. As far as smoking goes, I´m definitely done with it. And for flying.. well, I will get rid of my scare, but not through hypnotherapy. I´ll look into other ways of helping myself though, and I´ll keep you posted.