day 169: Athazagorafobi= the fear of being forgotten

I guess we all have it in us,  at some point in life. The fear of being forgotten. 
What would you do? If told that you only had months left to live?
http://marirov.tumblr.com/post/15681037821

It´s a classical question and you´ve probably wondered about it before. What you would do. But then again if you´re anything like me, even the thought of it would make you slightly ill and your thoughts would wander off to something lighter. Something more easily digestive. Like next summers vacation perhaps.
But what if you couldn´t.
Let your thoughts wonder off.
What if you knew that there would not be a next summer.
What then?


A couple of days ago one of the biggest newspapers in Norway posted a story about a remarkable woman called Therese Louise. Therese Louise was diagnosed with cancer March 2011. She died knowing that she would leave her boyfriend, friends and family behind. She used her last moths writing letters to her twelve year old son, trying to make sure that she would not be forgotten. That he forever would know how loved he was. She didn´t have the luxury of letting her thoughts go elsewhere. She was on the clock. She hoped for Christmas but didn´t make it.. she knew that there would be no new summer. And how that must have felt,  I hope I will never ever know. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. And to think that she had to live through all that horror, when she could actually have been given a fair fight to win the battle is just ...too much

"waited ten weeks for cancer treatment". 

http://www.dagbladet.no/2011/11/28/nyheter/kreftbehandling/innenriks/19198734/

The headline posted in Dagbladet 28.11.2011 doesn´t really do Therese Louise justice. Not at all. If Dagbladet had only had the balls for it, it really should have said "Government knowingly killed 32 year old mother because off poor judgement". That´s honestly what it truly boils down to. Poor Judgement. And if there was ever a time to hand out guilt... Our well paid chosen representatives at government should have- for once- been held responsible for their actions. For their choices. They should have been held responsible for for not making sure that hospitals have enough money to hire enough nurses and doctors and help nurses and radiologists, and cleaners and... the list goes on and on as it should do. Because saving lives today isn´t a one mans job, but teamwork. And all it takes is for one part of the big team to be short on staff to put treatment on hold. Not enough nurses you say? -oh! I´ve got the answer for it. No need to worry, or spend more money, see we really don´t want to spent more money...- we´ll just make the patients, the ordinary people wait for it.They won´t mind. Thy´re ordinary.
It´s not fair. Our country is made up by ordinary people who pay ordinary taxes to be ensured that if in need one day, our lovely out-of-the-ordinary- helthsystem would be there. We sure would like to think that it would. But it is not.  Not for us ordinary ones.
Bilde er hentet fra : http://nrk.no/nyheter/norge/1.7894471 ( v. jonas Sætre@nrk.no)

I´ve heard a rumour. It goes like this; The prime minister would not have been told to wait. For tests. Or treatment. Nor would any other member of his government or God forbid, any of the royals. If true, why? Why is it so. That the ones that we pay to make decisions on our behalf in government is ensured better, not to mention quicker treatment if they get sick?

"Government knowingly killed 32 year old mother because off poor judgement". That´s what it should have said.  All over. In all the news. But we don´t write our stories like that. No matter how true they may be. We just don´t. And it´s a shame. We should speak up.

It doesn´t take a genius to know that waiting ten weeks for treatment may actually mean a whole lot when dealing in growing tumours.

The wait. Why the wait? In a country like Norway.
We brag about our health system to anyone stupid enough to listen. About how great it is, how efficient. Sure, sure it´s free. For everyone. But when you come to think of it,  how free is it really? We all do pay taxes, high taxes in this country, and it shouldn´t be viewed as a gift from the government to be able to get help when in need.
It is not acceptable waiting ten weeks after being told that you have multiple growing tumours in your belly. Not acceptable. Why do us Norwegians so silently accept waiting lists and excuses from those who should be there to help and represent us?
Why are we so afraid to speak up? Against the government? Jens Stoltenberg would not have been waiting for ten weeks. A member of the royal family would not have waited. Any given celebrity would probably not have waited. Then why should a mother at thirty two?
It´s not fair. The system isn´t fair.And it pisses me off

Dear Therese Louise.
I have no clue who you were in life. What your thoughts were on the colour green, if you liked cats or dogs. I don´t know if you cried from Forrest Gump or found the classic Life of Brian half as hilarious as I did, but still.
I´ve spent the last 24 hours thinking about you. About what what you went through. How cruel and unfairly destiny hands out his cards. I´ve been thinking about how there´s absolutely no guaranties in life.
Reading your blog leaves me with a feeling of helplessness. Once again I´m forced to rethink life and the way I live it. In fact, your blog didn´t only make me cry-  it made me feel true grief for you and the storms you´ve had to find your way through. How you´ve  managed to find islands of calm I will never know, but I admire you for it. The last couple of days I´ve spent thinking about you. About how you must have felt.  Knowing what you knew. That life were soon to be over... I´ve been trying to walk a mile wearing your shoes but I couldn´t. It wasn´t possible. The path you were forced to walk down was just to scary. To difficult. And I´m so, so, so sorry that you didn´t get a fair fight to walk another way.

Though we never met, you touched me deeply, and I will never forget you

5 comments:

  1. So heartbreaking and infuriating! Thank you for sharing this story, it was very moving! Therese Louise sounded like an amazing woman and mom.

    Lisa
    P.S. Thanks for linking up to the GtKY blog hop!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hei, Renate!

    For det første, takk for at du lærer meg om en fobi jeg ikke kjente til, til tross for at jeg kanskje lider av den selv. Jeg har faktisk tenkt gjennom hva som ville være viktigst for meg hvis jeg fikk beskjed om at jeg hadde kort tid igjen å leve. Og det er nettopp å skrive ned alt jeg ønsker å formidle til min sønn. Å skrive det på en måte som er tilpasset alle aldre til han selv er voksen.

    Men så til selve kjernen i innlegget ditt. Norsk helsepolitikk med de paradokser og problemstillinger som følger med. Du skylder på politikerne. Du gir dem skylden for at Therese Louise ikke fikk sjansen til å starte kampen mot kreften før det var for sent. Du er ikke for drøy, men du har virkelig spisset budskapet. Og jeg må si meg delvis enig med deg. Delvis fordi mer penger alene ikke nødvengigvis gir tilsvarende mer helse. Det må også gjøres prioriteringer. Og med en gang det er snakk om prioriteringer, så peker politikerne på fagfolkene, men politikerne må faktiskt også være med å gjøre prioriteringene. Det største paradokset i helsenorge er, etter min mening, at vi har en helselovgivning som er i toppklasse i verden, ja faktisk verdens beste. Disse lovene er det politikerne som har vedtatt. Politikerne har gitt oss innbyggere verdens beste helserettigheter, hvor alle skal prioriteres. Men selve paradokset er at de ikke setter oss som arbeider i helsevesenet i stand til å ivareta de rettighetene vi pålegges. De bevilger ikke nok penger til å ivareta den standarden de i sine valgkamper og festtaler lover det norske folk. Og de vegrer seg for å gå inn i prioriteringsdebatten. For skal de prioritere noen, så må de prioritere bort andre. De må prioritere bort velgere...og sånt blir det jo ikke stemmer av.

    Og så til en annen problemstilling du tar opp at det faktisk ikke er likhet for loven. Det er forskjell mellom kong Salomo og Jørgen Hattemaker til tross for at alle skal sikres de samme helsetjenestene uansett status, inntekt, bosted, rase osv... Men slik fungerer det som sagt ikke. Manglende bevilgninger og økende privatisering fører til større ulikheter. Helse kan kjøpes og de mest ressurssterke blir prioritert fordi de kjenner sine rettigheter.

    Hva er så løsningen på de utfordringene vi står overfor? Det må bevilges mer penger, men mer penger alene er ikke nok. Det må utdannes og ansettes flere sykepleiere (i faste fulle stillinger), men det er heller ikke nok. Det må også til en maktforskyvning i helsevesenet. En maktforskyvning fra legene til sykepleierne. Da mener jeg ikke all makt, men makt nok til å kunne gjøre prioriteringer innenfor faget vårt. Makt nok til å videreutvikle eget fag.

    Til slutt vil jeg bare si at du har en nydelig, rørende og tankevekkende avslutning på innlegget ditt. Du prøver å sette deg inn i Therese Louises situasjon, men du klarer det ikke. Du klarer det ikke fordi det er umulig, og det vet du. Men du prøver likevel. Fordi du innehar empatiske evner og vil sette deg inn i den andres sted for å vite hvordan det er.

    Nok en gang, takk for at du deler dine tanker! =)

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  3. Hi popping over from the weekend gathering hops, now following you via gfc, hope you can follow back at http://www.beckvalleybooks.blogspot.com thks in advance xx

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  4. Thanks for joining my Planet Weidknecht Weekend Hop!

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  5. Wow, I'm just stunned and sickened by this story. Sometimes life just seems so unfair.

    Thanks for linking up with the Getting to Know You Friday blog hop!

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