day 182: demolishing fear project style

When I first started this blog I choose to share a very personal list. My very own personal list of fear. I rounded up what guts I had and wrote down every little fear I could imagine cluttering my mind. Thinking back, I´m truly happy I did. Because It worked. Sharing the list and working with it -peace by peace have made me realize, fear isn´t dangerous. Living life cluttered by fear is. 
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We all fear. Colored my the society we live in, our surroundings, our history and imagination, fear controls us. Sometimes in ways we know off and acknowledge. Other times, we don´t even realize how fear of something is holding us back from becoming everything we can be. Fear is healthy. When it comes to avoiding situations that could cause us harm. But sometimes, knowing about those situations makes us fear them even when there´s really no need to as well. It´s like, if we´ve seen it in a movie, it could happen, right..
I quit seeing movies that makes me fear situations i normally wouldn´t. I quit seeing tv-shows that clearly gets it´s viewers only based on common knowledge about fear. And I also quit buying magazines and newspapers where fear corrupts the real stories. Bottom line is: fear sells. And I don´t want to support a business that thrives on other peoples nightmares anymore. 

Think about it. What have you read in the newspapers today? What happened in the last movie you saw? how about the news? Scared?

A year after I created my list of fears I´ve actually been able to remove most of my fears. From my list and from my head. And although I didn´t know at the time, writing my fears down, acknowledging them in a way, made them less scary. It also made me aware of the space they were stealing from other thoughts. Good thoughts. And choosing to do something about my fears made me grow. 
II´m not in a dark place anymore. I´m not afraid.
In honor of actually accomplishing something great though my blog, here´s to daring!

HURRA, HURRA, HURRA!!!

for those of you extra interrested (!) here´s how my list went and how I managed to work through it. Demolishing my fears one by one

01. Fear of flying  (work in progress! still a little bit afraid, but truly working on it- ordering plane tickets and looking forward to seeing the world, one place at the time. )     02. Fear of rejection  - march 2011 not afraid of rejection anymore. It seems like I´m just not afraid....just started trusting more, I guess. The people around me. And myself, because I am strong! I am me!03. Fear of death   (can´t truly say I don´t fear it. I do, but not every day. Not all the time. Not afraid of dead people anymore, like I was there for a bit. Just didn´t work well with being a nurse and having to deal. So I dealt. And little by little my fear has passed. Not completely, but I don´t think it ever will. And I do think that´s pretty human, so I don´t stress it) 04. Fear of failure  not afraid enough of failure to keep it on the list anymore. How it happened, I´m not quite sure of, but it somehow with writing the blog just went away: so for those of you who wonder- start a blog, and being afraid of failure goes away:) 05. Fear of being trapped in a small area  So not anymore! I actually went co-co on this one, forcing myself to take elevators and be in small places, just enough times to not be afraid anymore. And it worked yeayh!   06. Fear of not being able to breath   This one actually still bothers me a little bit, but not enough to be on the list anymore-  really. I started working with lung patients at the hospital, making me realize just how much the human body can take. And then again- If I don´t breath, I´m not here, and then what is there to worry about?   07. Fear of snakes ( allright, this one I haven´t stressed, ´cause I don´t really see many snakes, or have to relate to them in any way, but I will see them at the zoo come summer, and I will try to touch one. I promise!) 08. Fear of swimming in deep waters (still creeps me out) will work on it when I have a chanse. But I just can´t imagine swimming in deep waters anytime soon, so this one will have to wait!)    09. Fear of sharks attacing me while swimming in deep waters ( doesn´t even almost count. But maybe one day, I´ll face it.)     09. Fear of being watched by a man standing outside my bedroomwindow while I sleep  I just desided not to be afraid anymore. Stupid Fear. What it took? To sleep with the curtains open and just accept that if there´s a man who wants to look at me while I´m asleap, well, then I´m just ganna let him!   10. Fear of being in a a car accident  one day I just decided to get over it. To challenge myself and just deal, so I did, and I´m not taking chanses out there in traffic, but I´m not scared anymore! Sweet releif! And that also goes for the next one on the list- nr. 11.    11. Fear of my family being in a car accident  nope. Not anymore. I can´t control that, and I chose just to let it go.   12. Fear of high blood pressure  not anymore! I stopped smoking, and it went away!   13. Fear of not getting to be pregnant ( this one is still really real to me. But I´m trying to work with it. Making all the steps towards getting there as I possibly can. And honistly, I think this will only go away the day I get to be pregnant or to old not to have a baby. I just accept this one I guess)     14. Fear of dentists ( not as much, but soooo not cured!)    15. Fear of getting an alergic reaction to something I eat This is actually one that I´ve been working on for quite some time, and whenever I try something new, the old scare is there hunting me a little bit, but every time I choose to ignore it, face it, and just take it! This has been a great one getting past, because it has really changed my life getting over it! I now enjoy new foods again, and wow- what a world of untasted tastes:)     16. Fear of Rafael leaving me for someone better, smarter, younger and sweeter(!)    I simply trust him. Maybe I made a choice too, but whatever it was, looking on the list now has made it clear to me that that fright is gone:) and I love it, love him, and love us! 17. Fear of big pandemies just not anymore!    19. Fear of cancer I just somehow quit that fright. Still not a plesant thought, but nothing I worry about. Not afraid anymore  20. Fear of not being able to stop smoking  I stopped! I made it. Not scared anymore! Great, great, great  relief21: Fear of getting a stroke my attitude has changed- life is too short- live! 

2 comments:

  1. This was such a motivation! I should make a list like that myself! Keep up the good work! :)

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    Replies
    1. thank you so much Milal! It wasn´t easy, but worth it in the end:)

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